Don't Let It Go To Your Head
by maybeitsjustmyimagination
Summary: Kurt and Blaine can't stand each other. But sometimes you learn that first impressions aren't everything, and there's more to people than you initially think.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A/N: Hi! I know it's been a while since I've written anything on here. But I had this Kurt and Blaine fic idea for ages now and i've finally decided to post! The fic is still a WIP. I wanted to finish it before I started posting but it was taking forever to find time to write etc so I thought this would give me a reason to get it done.

As always my chapters aren't incredibly long. This is set at Dalton (mainly because I miss the blazers), and I'm rating it T for later, but I honestly haven't got that far in writing yet and if the rating changes it is likely go down - so don't worry no icky stuff. I know the order of events is a little different but it works this way. Also, I know not much happens in this chapter but trust me it gets better (i think). Oh yeah, and sorry I'm not good with fic titles.

Wow ok long A/N. I hope you enjoy :)

Note: I don't own glee or any of the characters - and I won't say this at the beginning of every chapter - it applies throughout

* * *

The halls filled with more and more students, all racing to get to the same destination.

It was rather disorientating.

Everything at this school seemed so big – from the classrooms to the staircases. So much bigger than anything Kurt was used to. It was strange, especially for someone who had already gotten used to being in confined spaces.

Dalton was very different. Not better, not worse – but different.

It wasn't the first time Kurt Hummel had transferred. Not that he'd ever had much of a choice. This was the third high school Kurt had been to in the space of less than three years; both times he transferred for the same reason. And he prayed he wouldn't need a reason to transfer again.

The transfer had been hard enough on him, let alone his friends and family. His dad and Carole could barely afford for Kurt to go to Dalton as it was, and if things went wrong again, he wouldn't have anywhere else. Kurt wanted to make certain things were different for him at this school.

The one thing that worried him was people. Kurt was only really comfortable around a few people, and although he wouldn't allow anyone to see him at a discomfort, he really didn't like meeting new ones.

It was hard for others to understand his odd tendencies and he couldn't handle people he didn't know or like even being near him. At McKinley you were simply ignored, but here, it was like everyone was one big family. From what he had gathered in the few hours he'd been at Dalton, everybody knew everybody. And Kurt wasn't sure he was prepared to step into a new family.

No. As nice as everyone may seem, if Kurt had learnt one thing, he should never let his guard down. He didn't need to get to close to anyone just yet.

The end of the hall seemed to be packed with students now. Clearly something was happening. Kurt's curiosity got the best of him. He had time before his next lesson, so he swiftly strode over to see if it was anything he should care about.

Through the crowds of students, Kurt could hear excited murmuring. He strained his ears and eventually managed to pick up two words.

_The Warblers._

The Warblers – the New Directions' rival glee club for Sectionals. The energy was definitely not like this when it came to the New Directions performing at McKinley. In fact, it was almost the opposite reaction they would get at McKinley.

Kurt skilfully dodged past the crowd to get closer to the front. A hush went over the crowd as the performance began.

"_You think I'm pretty_

_Without any makeup on"_

_Wow_, Kurt thought.

The Warblers' energy was impressive. They stood out from any other rival glee club he'd seen yet. They all moved together as one, something the New Directions had never been able to manage.

Their voices blended beautifully together, and Kurt couldn't help but pay attention to the Lead.

The Lead... who was looking straight at him.

Kurt's eyes met with his and the boy's eyes shone in acknowledgement.

It didn't make sense to Kurt, yet those eyes, a perfect blend of gold and amber of which the precise colour Kurt could not name, were paying attention to him. Even when he tried to look away, it was as if the boy's eyes were locked on his.

They reached the chorus.

"_My heart stops_

_When you look at me"_

Something about this boy had Kurt captivated. He couldn't tear his eyes away. Everything about him seemed like he was just a figment of his imagination, like he could disappear at any second – because nobody could look that beautiful so effortlessly. They way he looked, the way he moved... And his voice – Kurt's heart melted just a little at the sound.

It was breathtaking.

He almost didn't notice as the song ended, still in a sort of dream state. But he quickly woke himself up and began to applaud their performance.

As he did, the dreamy-eyed boy smiled.

At him.

Kurt wasn't sure he saw it right. Did... did he actually smile at him? That couldn't be right. This boy had never seen him before.

Yet the boy was still smiling. Somehow, Kurt had his attention. And although he had promised himself to constantly stay guarded, Kurt couldn't help but smile a little back.

He decided he might just like it there.

* * *

The rest of the week passed much quicker than expected.

Nobody behaved as if Kurt was any different from them. It was as if everyone was considered an equal. Maybe they were.

He hadn't really spoken to anyone at Dalton. He hadn't felt the need to. All he really cared about was getting through this school alive, which was proving to be surprisingly easier than he thought. But that didn't prevent Kurt from always jumping at the slam of a door or fidgeting uncomfortably when he was alone in the hallways.

Kurt had already had two lessons that day, and now sat alone in the empty French classroom. He had memorised his timetable and was always first to any class – one of the old habits he still hung on to in order to avoid any encounters between lessons. Sometimes at McKinley he hadn't had to worry as much as he often had either Mercedes or Rachel or another member of the glee club to walk with him to class, but Kurt didn't have the ability to do that here.

The New Directions had probably planned a song to perform at Sectionals now and were busy perfecting it. They'd have to be really good, considering what their competition is like. Kurt felt a twinge of sadness inside him. He hadn't expected to miss them as much as he did.

Kurt sighed and began to hum to himself.

He didn't notice the presence standing at the door until he heard a polite cough.

Kurt was startled and quickly spun round to see a boy stood in the doorway. "Oh... uh... Sorry. I didn't see you there." He mentally kicked himself for not noticing the boy, and was even madder at himself for having the boy hear him sing. Extra attention was not something he was ready for at the moment.

"It's Kurt, right?"

"Yes. Kurt Hummel."

"I'm Wesley, but all my friends call me Wes."

"It's nice to meet you, Wes," Kurt smiled. He ignored Wes' outstretched hand. Wes seemed slightly surprised but made no comment on it.

"What were you singing?"

"Oh, that was nothing..." Kurt was unsure why he took an interest in what he was singing.

"You're really good."

"Oh." Kurt was taken by surprise. It wasn't often people complemented his singing, or anything about him in general. "Thank you. Sadly not many people seem to appreciate my voice as much as you."

"Well I guess you've been hanging around the wrong people," Wes smiled kindly.

It was very new to Kurt for someone to be nice to him for no reason.

The other students began to enter the classroom as Kurt and Wes took their seats. Wes turned to Kurt.

"Have you considered joining the Warblers?"

Kurt hadn't expected that question at all. He also felt a little bad that he had been too preoccupied at the time to notice Wes was a Warbler. "Not really. I mean, I have, but I'm not sure I'd fit in with your style." He shrugged. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not really like other people."

"Oh you'd be surprised. And anyway, the Warblers could use something a little different. But, of course it's your choice. Just let me know if you change your mind."

Kurt contemplated this for the rest of the lesson.

What did Wes mean, _he'd be surprised_? Did it mean there were others like him in the Warblers? Wes probably figured out what he meant when he said he wasn't like other people. Kurt had never properly known anyone else like him. The thought that there were others like him here was amazing and terrifying. But at the very least he could have people to talk to, maybe people who understood him. And he couldn't prevent the small hope he had that pretty-eyed boy was one of them.

After class, Kurt hurried out of the room after Wes.

"Wes, wait."

Wes waited.

"When can I audition?"

* * *

Hope you liked it and please feel free to comment :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Hi again! Chapter 2 and I was actually surprised with the response so thank you!

* * *

"And now let's welcome the newest edition to the Warblers, Kurt Hummel."

The first meeting wasn't easy.

The atmosphere was not what Kurt was used to. To start with, the Warblers did not have a director, but a board made up of some of the older students, which happened to include Wes and two other students, David and Thad. Most of the school's activities were run by the students, and teachers never seemed to be seen outside the classroom; it was easy to forget there were any teachers at all.

Possibly the strangest thing was there was no drama. Kurt had half expected to be thrown into another choir room full of arguments and secrets, but everyone seemed to be an open book. It was slightly disappointing.

It was also hard for Kurt to fit in. Although he was made to feel welcome, being a new member he did not get as much say in song choices and ideas.

And it surprised him that in every song they had arranged, the dreamy-eyed boy was singing Lead.

There was no doubt that Blaine, as he learnt the boys name was, was very talented, but it struck him as odd that nobody else was given the opportunity to showcase their talent.

Kurt raised his hand to speak (another thing he had to get used to).

"Warbler Kurt?" Wes nodded from behind the desk.

"Will anyone else have a chance to get the Lead or a solo for any of the songs we will perform at Sectionals?"

There was a lingering pause in the choir room. Kurt looked around to see some of the members sitting around the room looking at each other in uncertainty. Clearly this was not a question that was asked often, if at all.

Wes cleared his throat. "Anyone who wishes to must sign up for an audition. We are planning on putting up the signup sheet next week."

Kurt gathered hardly anyone ever bothered signing up, but he couldn't imagine why.

He spent the rest of the session wondering what song to sign up with. He wasn't missing much by not paying attention.

By the end Kurt had shortened down his list to two songs. He would talk to Rachel about auditioning later.

While Kurt was walking out of the school doors, a voice came from beside him.

"Hey, Kurt."

Kurt was startled. He thought he was the last to leave. After seeing the voice belonged to Blaine, Kurt desperately tried to hide the alarm it just caused him.

"Hi," he said with false calm. The first time talking to him and he was going to make a complete fool of himself.

"As head Warbler, I haven't officially welcomed you yet, so welcome." There was a tone to his voice that made Kurt feel slightly uncomfortable, but he avoided showing it.

"There's such thing as head Warbler?" he asked sceptically.

"Not conventionally."

"So, no."

Blaine seem irritated and quickly changed the subject. "That was interesting – what you said in there."

"What did I say?"

"You're new here, so let me explain how things work." The suddenness of it all had Kurt silent. "Nobody auditions. Nobody even bothers trying." Blaine was uncomfortably close. Kurt stiffened and didn't speak. "So save your breath, because you don't stand a chance. And I advise you..." their faces were centimetres apart, so close that Kurt swore he could taste his breath on his lips. He swallowed. "...to stay out of my way."

As Blaine walked away, Kurt finally remembered to exhale.

* * *

Forgetting about Blaine was harder than he thought. There was something Kurt just didn't like about having others near him. It had happened enough times for him to know nothing good ever came out of it.

A smile didn't mean anything. A sweet smile and a beautiful face didn't mean they belonged to a nice person.

Kurt sighed. At least this lesson was learnt painlessly. There were plenty that hadn't.

But as Kurt soon realised, forgetting him was hopeless. They crossed paths too often to avoid him, and forcing himself to ignore the fuzzy, on-edge feeling in his chest just magnified its strength.

Kurt hated it. He hated people seeing him uncomfortable. He hated always feeling awkward around others.

But he couldn't do anything about it.

He sighed and picked up his algebra book from his locker. _Deal with it_.

Just then he heard footsteps approaching the lockers.

"...It's what we do every year." It was Wes. There was something in Wes' voice that Kurt couldn't put his finger on. Irritation? Hostility?

"And when was the last time someone signed up?"

"We still have to post the sheet as formality, Anderson. And who knows? Perhaps someone this year will be willing to take up a solo."

"I doubt that." Kurt quickly turned back to his locker pretending to find interest in his textbook, as the two pairs of footsteps reached the room.

He could feel Blaines knowing glance on him without looking.

Blaine stated he was going and left.

"Hi Kurt," Wes eventually acknowledged. "Is..."

"I have to go," Kurt interrupted. "I mean, I need to get to my next lesson – which is that way. So I'll go now..." he was babbling now. Another thing he had to work on. "I'll see you later."

And he walked quickly down the hall.

Wes watched as he left. Kurt clearly was unhappy about something.

He contemplated it as he walked to his next class.

"Wes!" David caught up to him.

The two boys had been best friends since their freshman year. They had auditioned for the Warblers together and being the youngest at the time, an immediate friendship was born. Since then they had been practically inseparable.

David began to walk alongside him. "We need to discuss ideas for Sectionals this year. The committee has already listed some ideas and we're waiting for your opinion on them."

"Can you give me the list after school?"

"Of course," David nodded. "Was that Kurt who just rushed past?"

"Yeah."

They began to make their way to their next class. "Do you think he's doing alright?"

"I'm not sure. He seems slightly withdrawn."

David seemed to consider this for some time before he spoke again. "Have you seen Blaine lately?"

"Sadly. He was talking to me earlier before Kurt left. Why?"

David was silent. A certain type of silent that Wes knew well to mean something wasn't right. He gave David a questioning look. "No reason. I was just thinking... I saw Blaine follow Kurt out the other day. I don't know, but I've noticed he has been paying a strange amount of attention to the new kid."

It was Wes' turn to look surprised. Blaine never displayed any type of interest in anyone or anything. The two boys probably knew Blaine better than anyone else, and if he had taken an unusual interest in the new kid, there would be trouble for him.

Worse was that Kurt had also shown an interest.

"I think we should talk to him."

"I think so too."

* * *

Kurt was surprised when Wes and David invited him for coffee before the next meeting.

"How do you like Dalton so far?" David asked once they sat down. It always struck Kurt how politely everyone at this school spoke, and reminded himself that this wasn't McKinley.

"I'm getting used to it."

As Kurt took a sip of his coffee, the two boys exchanged a glance. "Has anybody been bothering you?"

It was so abrupt it sounded like something his dad would ask. "Err... No."

"Are you sure?" Although they didn't intend for it to be like that, Kurt found that question rather patronising.

"Yes," Kurt said firmly. "I'm sure."

"It's just that, I saw Blaine follow you out last week." Kurt was caught off guard. "We know Blaine. And we know he can be a bit... much sometimes."

Kurt was silent, unsure to say. "What do you mean by 'much'?"

Wes sighed. Blaine Anderson was someone that couldn't be explained. And even if they wanted to, it wasn't their place to do so. "You like him, right?" Kurt took a sip of his coffee, not responding. Wes continued. "Blaine has this way of giving off a really nice first impression. Everyone likes him almost instantly.

"But we've seen him." Kurt raised his eyebrows. "He has always been impulsive, but never serious. He doesn't see the impact of what he does on others. And it destroys them." _It has already destroyed him_, Wes wanted to add. "He enjoys messing with people and can be quite harsh and conceited."

"What we mean to say is, it might be best to stay out of his way..."

Kurt abruptly stood up. "Thank you," he spoke calmly. "But I think I can handle taking care of myself."

And with that, he left, leaving Wes and David with perplexed looks on their faces.

* * *

Can't promise when next chapter will be up but I'll try to post as often as possible :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A/N: Apologies for not posting sooner. Some assessments coming up and whatnot.

I know this chapter is pretty short, but most of this chapter is based around events you already know about, and I thought it would be tedious to repeat them.

The next chapter (whenever I am able to post it) will be longer. But for now I hope you like this one!

* * *

Kurt spent the rest of the week irritated - more with himself than anybody else. He couldn't have been more obvious, and at the same time, he couldn't have been any more oblivious.

He couldn't handle anyone interfering with his life anyway. So why was he just making it harder for himself?

A jerk like Blaine definitely wasn't worth that.

* * *

Blaine scanned the room. Kurt sat alone in the far corner.

He was reminded of how awkward Kurt looked and probably felt after the first meeting and with a smirk on his face, decided to sit next to him.

Kurt didn't react, which Blaine thought was a shame.

Unlike the first meeting, Kurt kept completely silent throughout.

"We have now posted up our official setlist for Sectionals. As you know, there is an opportunity to audition for a solo, so we encourage you to try out." Wes looked around but no one else seemed to share his enthusiasm.

It occurred to Kurt that it wasn't that nobody wanted to audition, but that nobody got solos worth auditioning for.

Wes sighed. "Warblers, you are dismissed."

As the Warblers began to depart, Blaine walked over to the front of the room.

"What did I tell you? Nobody is going to audition."

Kurt looked up from his bag. That was it. Why should he let other people make his decisions for him?

Without a second thought he marched over to the signup sheet, scrawled his name on the list and marched past Wes and Blaine, holding his head a little higher with a mild look of satisfaction on his face.

Blaine stared after him, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth forming a surprised 'o' shape.

Wes tried hard to contain his laughter.

"You were saying?"

* * *

There is something about performing that makes Kurt's heart soar with an indescribable feeling. Something about it just makes him feel like nothing can ground him anymore. In the moments he performs, it doesn't matter what people say or think. It is just him and his voice.

Kurt ended his performance of _Don't Cry for Me Argentina _feeling better than he had in months.

And the best part was the look on Blaine's face; a mixture of being annoyed and impressed.

Not that Kurt was paying attention.

Blaine still looked annoyed after practice ended, and Kurt couldn't help but ask, sounding a bit too pleased with himself, "So how was I?"

Blaine tried to appear unbothered but couldn't hide the slight scowl on his face. "It was one performance – big deal. Stop acting so dignified about it."

Neither of them spoke for a while as they walked down the hallway.

"You know," Kurt said from behind Blaine in an almost sing-song voice as they began to walk up the spiral staircase, "they say jealously is a key symptom of insecurity."

Blaine stopped and turned to look down at him, openly irritated now. He placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Don't get your hopes up," he shook his head.

Although it lasted a millisecond, Blaine felt Kurt's arm tense. But he quickly snapped back and shook Blaine's hand off before he could say anything.

Kurt quickly found his voice again as if nothing had happened. "Is _the Blaine Anderson_ worried he's finally found someone to outshine him?" he said sarcastically, but it was lacking some of his melodic tone.

Blaine snorted. "Not a chance."

* * *

Kurt didn't get the solo. Although he couldn't understand why.

His performance was great! How didn't he get a solo?

"What is it?" Kurt demanded when he noticed Blaine stood from behind, looking at him. He hadn't spoken to him since the previous week, unless you counted the occasional eye roll or hateful glare Kurt got in the corridor. Which, of course, were returned. It was official – he despised the boy.

"Oh, I'm not saying anything."

"Please. You thought my performance was amazing. It was written all over your face."

"Funny how you assume I was thinking about that. Anyway, your performance was mediocre at best. But _amazing_ may be pushing it." Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Even if I did think it was that good, you still didn't get the solo, did you?"

"And I am _sure_ you will grace me with your knowledge of why I didn't." Kurt's voice was dripping with annoyance.

Blaine shrugged. "You tried too hard."

"I didn't know trying was frowned upon."

Blaine groaned. "You still don't get it. You seem to act as if the world revolves around you, you know that? Well, soon you're gonna need to wake up and see you aren't as incredible as you think you are."

"Well I suppose it's a two way street then. At least I can accept other people's talent rather than shit on them to feel better about myself."

"I don't need to bring people down to make me feel like I'm better than them. Because I _am_ better than them. I just think it's cruel to give people false hope."

"And clearly I can't waste another second of my life in the same room as such an egotistical jerk for much longer." Kurt folded his arms and he proceeded to walk away. As he did, he called out to him. "There's more to life than degrading people, you know. Not everyone can pretend to be perfect long enough to convince themselves to believe it. Get over yourself, Blaine."

Blaine stared after him, looking as if he had been slapped in the face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

A/N: Hi. Sorry it's been a few days. Truth be told I wrote this chapter a while ago but I don't think I've had my head screwed on properly this week because I swear everything has gone so quickly. I didn't forget as such, but I keep forgetting what the date is etc. Which isn't good because I almost forgot when my friend's party is and that is really unlike me and I still haven't got her a present and then I have homework and honestly think I'm just lacking sleep.

So until I get my usual organization back I'm not sure when I'll post again. Possibly some time during the school week as we'll not have as much work as usual. But I can't make any promises.

Also I haven't thoroughly checked through this so they might be small mistakes.

As always I am happy to hear your comments so feel free *passes out from tiredness*

* * *

Kurt gasped.

He woke up, pulse racing. Quickly looking around, his eyes fell upon his alarm clock. 2 o'clock.

Kurt slowly steadied his breath, allowing more oxygen back into his lungs. Quietly he went upstairs to the kitchen, where he got a glass from the cupboard and filled it with tap water. His hands were still shaking as he took a few sips.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, splashing his face with water.

He felt calmer, yet his hands were still slightly quivering. He spread his hands flat on the cold surface of the kitchen counter in an attempt to make it stop.

It had been a month since the last nightmare. And now they were coming back.

After a few minutes Kurt crept back to his room, avoiding making any noise. He couldn't let his dad find out about the nightmares. It would make him worry more about him than he already did and he would ask questions that Kurt really didn't want to answer just yet. Or at all if he could help it.

Today was the day of Sectionals. Kurt wasn't going to let anything interfere with that.

He leaned back to try and gain as much sleep as possible before he had to get up again, but he knew it was unlikely.

* * *

"Kurt!"

Kurt smiled as the girls rushed over. "Rachel, Mercedes!"

"It feels like forever since we've seen you!"

"Yeah Kurt it is really great to see you again." Although it was clear she was glad to see him, Rachel's posture seemed bitter.

"What have I missed?"

Rachel opened her mouth, quite likely to reply with a detailed recall of events since Kurt had left. "Only Rachel being her usual self-centred self," Mercedes swiftly interrupted. Rachel pouted. He was sure he would get the full account later.

"Hey, Kurt." The three of them looked over to Blaine who was standing impatiently. "Five minutes 'til we're on."

The girls stared after him, but Kurt went back to speaking. "I'd love to stay longer and talk but I really have to go."

Rachel's attention snapped back. "Sleepover at mine then."

"I don't know..."

"It wasn't a question – we're having a sleepover at my place."

"Kurt." Blaine sounded more impatient.

"Pleaseee"

Kurt finally gave in. Rachel clapped her hands in glee.

Kurt hurried off, shouting "Break a leg!" down the corridors until he caught up to Blaine.

"Why were you wishing the enemy good luck?"

Kurt looked at him in surprise. "Mercedes and Rachel are my friends. And I was just being polite. I want to win as badly as you do."

Blaine frowned.

"Fine. If we lose, the blame is on me for being courteous. Okay?"

The lights in the room backstage flashed. "We're on."

* * *

Even though Kurt's smile felt false the whole way through their performance, the Warblers got through to Nationals.

The only problem was, so did the New Directions.

Rachel kept going on about it the whole way to her house. Even then she still went on. "I can't believe it! We clearly put more work in – no offence Kurt – and our performance was clearly better – no offence Kurt – I mean a draw – who has heard a such a thing in show choir history? It's outrageous!"

Eventually Kurt and Mercedes convinced her to shut up and sent her downstairs to get popcorn.

"Ugh Rachel's movies are terrible." Mercedes said, going through the other girl's very limited collection of DVDs. She collapsed onto the bed next to Kurt, staring up at the ceiling. "So, how have you been?"

"Okay I guess."

"You don't look it."

"I didn't get much sleep," Kurt responded.

"You sure that's it? 'Cause you can tell me if anything is wrong." She placed a hand on his leg.

"I'm fine Cedes." Kurt's voice was final. She pulled back and didn't inquire further. He was grateful that Mercedes left it there.

"I brought popcorn!" Rachel beamed as she entered the room. She hopped onto the opposite side of Kurt and placed the popcorn between the three of them. "Sooooo..."

"So what?"

Mercedes apparently knew what 'so' meant too because they both seemed to be waiting for an answer. "If I'm not wrong, she wants to know about the cute Warbler with the dark gelled hair who was waiting for us to shut up so he could drag you backstage."

"Blaine?" Kurt said with resentment. "What about him?"

It took a few seconds analysing their excited faces before it clicked what Rachel and Mercedes were thinking. "What?! No. He was just waiting for me to join the rest of the Warblers."

"Mh hm, but who is he?"

Rachel answered for him. "Blaine Devon Anderson: sixteen; sophomore; head of Dalton fight club; member of Dalton's fencing club, partaking in many competitions; has an unusual obsession with hair gel and front man to the Dalton Academy Warblers."

Mercedes turned to look at her in disbelief whilst Kurt just stared, trying to decide whether to ask how Rachel knew all that information or whether to point out that Blaine's name practically meant yellow ray of sunshine from Devon.

It was Mercedes who made the choice for him. "Err Rachel... how the hell do you know all that?"

"Rule number one of show choir competition: know your enemy."

_That's crazy._

"That's crazy."

"No it's not. The New Directions would be nowhere without my knowledge of our competition. That and my voice." Mercedes looked like she was about to dispute but Rachel interrupted her. "That's beside the point. The point is that Kurt is being completely unfair by not giving us anything on a really hot guy!"

They both turned back to Kurt. "Yeah Kurt we'd like to know something."

"Please. He doesn't even play for your team." Rachel made a happy cheer. Kurt glared. "Blaine Anderson is selfish, egotistical, _and _I can't _stand _him."

Rachel looked crestfallen.

"Sorry to disappoint."

"Selfish and egotistical? Shame he's gay Rachel, you'd be perfect for each other."

"Hey!" Rachel flung a cushion at Mercedes.

Kurt laughed and grabbed a handful of popcorn. Rachel put the DVD into the DVD player and they all sat down on Rachel's very pink bed.

"You have to admit though," Mercedes said. "He is kind of cute."

_Yeah,_ Kurt thought. _Kind of._

* * *

"Warbler committee," Wes began, even though there were only two others in the room. "We are gathered today to discuss our plan for Regionals. Now although our Sectionals performance came out a success, we were very lucky. However, now we must give it our all to ensure a place in this year's final competition. Suggestions?"

There was a temporary pause.

"I think our main issue is that we need to be more of a team. The Warblers more than ever need to demonstrate unity."

"And what do you suggest we do to ensure this, Warbler Thad?"

David spoke. "We need to do something different. Something the judges haven't seen from us yet."

Wes appeared concerned. "That is quite a risk though, isn't it? The Warblers have always stuck to tradition, and making great changes could be unfavourable, especially since not everyone..." both he and David knew who Wes was referring to, "... has the same attitude."

More couldn't have changed since the boys spoke to Kurt. Rather than Blaine solely tormenting Kurt (which was truthfully what they had expected) the pair of them had an ongoing feud. As it turned out, Kurt could talk back.

They felt bad for not giving Kurt enough credit; however, it was evident that over the last few weeks Blaine's constant need to point out people's flaws and Kurt's need to bring him down a few pegs interfered with their performance.

"Perhaps a change would do us good."

Thad nodded. "We can't make everyone happy. And we can't keep making adjustments to suit one person." Apparently Thad, too, knew who they were referring to. "Maybe this change will help establish the committee's authority."

An idea came to Wes' mind. "I agree. We do need to be firmer with our decisions. And teamwork is vital for us to get to Nationals..." He knew he may sorely regret his decision later. "...So here is what I propose..."

* * *

"A duet," There was a murmur of surprise through the choir room. Wes cleared his voice. "We, as a committee, have realised that some changes are in order, to enable the Warblers to feel more like a team again."

The surprise turned to excitement at the thought of auditions occurred.

David stood up. "There will be no auditions." There was a gasp from somewhere in the room.

"The song," Wes continued as if there had been no interruption. "Will be sung by Blaine," Blaine nodded in approval, "and Kurt."

Kurt looked up as twenty faces turned to look at him.

He turned to Blaine whose widened eyes were glaring angrily at Wes and David. They avoided direct eye contact with him. "We allow you to have freedom of song choice, however, we expect you to come back to us with your choice within a week so the harmonies can be arranged, and we also expect you to arrange your own extra rehearsal times.

"Warblers, you are dismissed."

Kurt sat there in confusion.

Wes and David made the decision to leave quickly.

"Do you think it was a good idea?"

"Yes. We can't force them to like each other, but we can try and make them respect each other. And with the right song, their voices could sound really good together."

"Do you think it will work, though?"

"No clue."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Oh god I'm terrible aren't I? Over a week since the last chapter D:

So you'll either love me or hate me or just be generally confused after this chapter. Rest assured everything will be explained.

The song in this chapter is A Thousand Miles. I don't normally like writing songs into chapters but I thought it was necessary to have one. If you want to get a better idea of what it would sound like with them singing it (although not compulsory), I suggest you listen to the Boyce Avenue version, which is amazing.

Until later lovelies :)

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Blaine couldn't understand why they would do this.

How was making the two who hated each other most in the group a way to the Warblers to be more of a team? It was pretty obvious that given the chance either he or Kurt would strangle the other. They didn't even know if their voices sounded good together. It was just a disaster waiting to happen.

But neither of them had much of a choice. They couldn't let all the Warblers down like that. If Wes and the others think they can make it work, he and Kurt were going to have to make it work. Blaine knew that Nationals was important to both of them. If they wanted to make it, they were going to have to get along until then.

Blaine hadn't spoken to Kurt for over half a week now. They were both too stubborn to arrange anything. But they needed a song by Thursday. Blaine sighed. If this was going to work, he had to be the one to speak first.

At the end of the day, Blaine spotted Kurt walking from his last lesson. He walked up to him.

"Kurt," Kurt turned around to face him. "Practice after school tomorrow, choir room – be there."

* * *

It was Tuesday and Kurt sat in the choir room. Alone.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting – probably that Blaine would be on time considering he was the one who arranged it.

Kurt had already warmed up with scales on the piano, but now he sat there, in the middle of the room, alone.

When the doors finally opened Blaine walked in and flung his bag on the nearest chair. It took him a moment to realise the other boy sat there glaring at him.

"Half an hour. You arrived half an hour late. You do realise that having extra rehearsals means we actually need to rehearse, don't you?"

Blaine shrugged and began to walk around the room in his usual carefree manner. "I'm here now." Kurt didn't break his glare. "I get it, we need to practice. But it wouldn't hurt to cut the attitude."

Kurt rubbed his face. It was obvious he didn't want to be there either. Blaine noticed the dark circles under his eyes. It was clear Kurt had been trying to hide it, but his tiredness was still visible. Had Kurt not been sleeping?

Blaine shook his head. Why did he care?

"I'm sorry, okay?" Blaine raised his eyebrows. Kurt knew the last thing Blaine expected from him was an apology. "Look, the way I see it, we both want to go to New York this year. To do that this performance needs to be great. So until Regionals at least, can we try to put our differences aside and get on with it? Then we never have to speak with each other again."

After a pause Blaine nodded.

There was an awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to say next.

"Alright then – I thought we could sing A Thousand Miles," Blaine suggested. "It has some good harmonies and could sound great with some work."

There was a faint smile on Kurt's lips. "It's a nice song."

"Well I do have impeccable taste."

Now Blaine was certain Kurt hadn't been sleeping, otherwise he would have received another irritated response. "So do you have the music?"

"Nope."

Kurt shut his eyes to stop his frustration from surfacing. _There we go_. "So how are we going to practice?"

Reaching the far corner of the room, Blaine sat down at the piano and ran a scale down the keys. "You know the lyrics, right?"

_Of course he plays piano_, Kurt thought, unsure of whether the thought annoyed him or not.

Blaine made room for Kurt on the piano stool, grinned to himself, and began to play.

"_Making my way downtown_

_Walking fast faces pass and I'm homebound"_

Blaine pulled a goofy face and Kurt rolled his eyes. If he really got to appreciate it, Blaine had a lovely voice.

He was reminded of when he first saw Blaine performing in the choir room and was reminded why he stood out in the first place. It was the way Blaine seemed to lose himself in the music, as if he was an entirely different person. Perhaps Kurt would've liked Blaine had he been like that more often.

"_And I need you_

_And I miss you_

_And now I wonder..."_

He slowed his playing as a signal for Kurt to join.

"_If I could fall into the sky_

_Do you think time would pass me by_

'_Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles_

_If I could just see you_

_Tonight"_

So their voices harmonised really well together. And it sounded really nice. It was as if their voices were made to go together – and Blaine noticed it too.

They smiled at each other. Kurt really liked this Blaine.

"_And I, I_ _don't want to let you know_

_I, I_ _Drown in your memory_

_I, I_ _don't want to let this go_

_I, I" _

Kurt leaned towards Blaine

"_Don't..."_

As the sound of the piano faded, Kurt realised that Blaine was no longer looking at the keys, but at him.

Staring back for a few seconds, Kurt felt unusually shy and diverted his eyes, only for them to fall on Blaine's lips.

He felt Blaine's eyes still on his. Slowly but surely, he closed the space between them.

* * *

Blaine's eyelids fluttered shut as Kurt's soft lips pressed gently against his. Kurt's lips tasted sweet like vanilla and they sent a shiver up Blaine's spine. He felt Kurt's breath hitch slightly as he tilted his head and kissed back, steadying himself by placing a hand on his.

Remembering where he was, Blaine half-reluctantly pulled away, but keeping a hand on Kurt's.

Kurt avoided his gaze. Realising Blaine was still holding his hand, he lifted it away.

"Kurt, I –"

"I need to go."

He picked up his bag from beside the stool and stood up, still refusing to look the other boy in the eyes.

Blaine's large eyes looked after him. "Kurt, wait." He reached out for Kurt's hand, which was shaking.

Kurt looked back and their eyes met for a millisecond. Blaine saw something there that made him let go. "Please – don't."

He released Kurt's hand and watched as Kurt left.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hope everyone had a nice easter :)

I haven't gotten the next chapter totally sorted out yet and I have lots of work so no promises on when that's gonna be.

I personally quite like this chapter as things are just starting to make a bit more sense...

* * *

**Chapter 6**

It had been a week since their rehearsal. And a week since Kurt last looked Blaine in the eyes.

Blaine's thoughts were all jumbled up in his mind and he couldn't comprehend any of them.

Kurt kissed him. But Kurt hated him. Yet Blaine still kissed back.

It wasn't just his own feelings Blaine was confused about. Kurt refused to talk to him. Blaine already told Wes the song they had chosen, but at their current rate they wouldn't be performing at all. Blaine tried talking to Kurt but he just ignored him, as if he wasn't there at all.

They couldn't go on like this. _He_ couldn't go on like this.

Which is why, on Thursday night Blaine stood at the porch of Kurt's house, shivering in the cold, waiting for the doorbell to be answered.

The door was opened by Kurt, wearing jeans and a thick blue hoodie. His eyes widened when they saw Blaine standing there.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt looked even more tired now that Blaine really paid attention. With his hair slightly messy and the too-big hoodie, Kurt looked younger and more vulnerable – not like Kurt he was used to seeing at school.

"I thought we could talk." Kurt opened his mouth to feebly dispute him but Blaine interrupted again. "Or not. I just-" Blaine wasn't sure what he wanted. "You can't pretend I don't exist forever. You missed rehearsals today."

"I didn't think we were still rehearsing."

"Of course we are." Their eyes still wouldn't meet. Blaine felt incredibly awkward – something he was not used to feeling. "We don't have to talk about... last time. We can just carry on like it didn't happen if you want."

Kurt blinked. "Why would I want that?" he whispered almost inaudibly. Blaine nearly thought he misheard him.

Seeing Blaine without a coat, Kurt realised how cold it was outside. "Come in, you're going to freeze out there."

Blaine's mind was still on what Kurt said as he entered through the doorway and into the warmth, shutting the door behind him. His lips became pink as he began to warm up. He thanked him, but still stood near the door, not wanting to overstay his welcome. "I don't know." He kept his eyes focused on the floor. "I-I thought that was what you wanted. I mean, that was why you were avoiding me, right?"

"I..."

Blaine raised his head to meet Kurt's blue eyes. "Kurt, why are you avoiding me?"

He wasn't sure which of them started the kiss first this time, but it was much more fervent than the last.

As their bodies collided he felt the heat spreading through him as he fell back against the wall, grabbing onto Kurt's hoodie for support. His head was spinning with a feeling he didn't recognise, but _god_, he liked it.

When Blaine realised Kurt was trying to pull away Blaine twisted himself round, switching their positions and pushing Kurt not too gently against the wall with a thump.

"Okay," he panted, lips still parted. "You're not leaving me without an explanation this time. I'll be the first to admit I enjoyed that more than I thought, and I'm pretty sure you did too. At first I thought all this avoiding stuff was because you hated me. _Clearly_ I'm missing something." He cooled down and softened his voice. "What's going on, Kurt?"

Kurt pushed him off. "It doesn't matter."

Blaine spun round after him, wincing at the pain in his back. "Yes it does."

"No it doesn't!" Kurt raised his voice. "So what?" Blaine saw that Kurt was shaking like he did before, as he began to stutter. He had never seen Kurt like this. "So w-what if I like you? What if I can't get you out of my head?! Because I can't! I've tried and I can't. Your smile, your eyes, your _everything_! It doesn't matter. Because it will _never_ work." Kurt was reduced to just shivering uncontrollably.

Blaine's eyes softened at Kurt's words. "Why not?" Blaine sat down on the sofa. "I've noticed how you act around other people. You get uncomfortable when people get near you. I know you don't like to show it, but you get nervous really easily – I know because you tense or you start shivering. Kind of like you are now. You can tell me, Kurt." He glanced at him. "I mean, you don't have to. I can just leave and we can pretend like this didn't happen..."

Kurt held his shoulder. Blaine realised how hard he had pushed him.

"Shit. Did... did I hurt you?"

"No. No my shoulder is fine. It's always like that." Kurt let out a large breath and sat down next to Blaine, but still fairly distancing himself. "And you're right. You – you need an explanation. I just don't know if I have one right now."

Blaine nodded, not unsympathetically.

"It just – I don't get it myself." Picking up the blanket from the side of the sofa Blaine handed it to Kurt, who refused it, trying desperately to stop shivering. "You know this is my third school in the space of four years? So I guess you could say I have some problems being around others." Blaine's eyes didn't steer away from him. They encouraged him to continue. "I had it pretty bad at my old school. Worse than McKinley if you'd believe it." His sad laugh bubbled into a hiccup.

Blaine nodded. He never had it easy with schools either. But something told him what Kurt had gone through was a lot worse.

Kurt tried to expand but he found he didn't know how. "Um, I ended up in hospital," he said bluntly. "Severely damaged shoulder blade, some minor back injuries, broken rib. Apparently I hit my head too, which probably explained some of the gaps in my short term memory." Blaine tried his best not to look horrified. Sure, he had been in hospital too, but it was nowhere near as bad as what Kurt must have gone through. And he was certain those weren't the only injuries. "My dad was there and he explained how I was found." He smiled bitterly.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. They showed me the street where I was found – Never seen the place before in my life. I just didn't remember _anything_ about what happened. Occasionally I see glimpses in nightmares – being beaten up, just remembering the pain. But I just don't remember anything else. And that's the scariest part. Just not remembering. A huge blank in my mind.

"Since then I've never been great with others. McKinley was better. Lonely, and I still got shoved into lockers, but at least it felt somewhat safer. At first I just told myself that when you're different, or like my mom called me, 'special'," there was a small smile at the memory. "You have to get used to going it alone.

"Eventually I thought I pushed away the constant awkwardness. I had friends at McKinley. I became closer to people. I had other things to occupy my mind rather than the recurring nightmares. And so they left. I thought I was better.

"And then after K..." he paused. "The fear came back. I thought I'd pushed it away but I hadn't. I didn't feel safe at McKinley anymore. And now..."

"Does anyone else know?"

A single tear spilt down his cheek and he began to shake very hard. "No."

Blaine realised that this must have been the first time Kurt had retold this story to anyone since then, and felt an extreme amount of pressure in being the only person for Kurt to have confined in. Someone he hardly knew. "You shouldn't have to go through this alone."

"It's fine. I've managed so far. My dad worries enough as it is. I know it sounds stupid." Blaine shook his head. "But I feel like I can't get close to people. All they do is hurt you." Blaine felt a pang of guilt in his chest. "And then you. I can't explain it, I..."

Kurt didn't notice when Blaine rested his hand on his shaking one, and flinched away. "This. This is exactly why I can't do this. I get – you pity me now. Don't. I don't need your sympathy." He wiped his tears with the corner of his sleeve, even though he knew it wouldn't make them stop, and moved away from Blaine's reach. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."

"Hey. Come on stop. Kurt, look at me." Kurt finally looked at Blaine. "Listen. You are a lot stronger than I thought you were. And a lot stronger than you think you are. Don't you dare for a second think this is stupid."

All was silent apart from Kurt's steadying breathing. Slowly, Blaine leaned forward and gently pressed a kiss to Kurt's forehead. Kurt looked up in surprise and stopped shaking slightly. Blaine smiled. "So what if I like you back?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Sorry it's later than usual - but better late than never! I warn you in advance that I might not be able to post next week, so it'll probably be two weeks until chapter 8 is up. So I leave you with what I think is a nice chapter :)

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Somehow Kurt managed to fall asleep on the sofa, Blaine's eyes dropping closed shortly after.

The silence of their sleep wasn't interrupted until the sun broke through the gap in the curtains. Kurt blinked twice before his eyes could fully adjust. He had hardly remembered falling asleep, and was only reminded of the night before when he saw Blaine curled up on the end of the sofa.

Kurt shifted under his blanket. Blaine must have put it on him when he fell asleep. It was strange how so much could change in a day, how just a few gestures could put someone under a whole new light.

He couldn't help but feel that there was something else that was different too.

His eyes drifted to the clock on the far wall. Seven thirty two.

Less than half an hour to get to school.

Kurt shook himself awake. _Ugh why do these things happen to me?_

Waking up Blaine was another matter though. He didn't want to break the peacefulness that was beginning to convince him that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him, that the constant frown of annoyance on Blaine's face was just an act.

Kurt shifted over to the other boy awkwardly, still trying to keep his distance.

"Blaine," he said gently. "Blaine you have to wake up."

Blaine mumbled something and tiredly tried to swat him away.

Okay, so that was really adorable.

Smiling, Kurt raised his voice a little. "Blaine..." The other boy wrinkled his nose in a way that Kurt couldn't help but be reminded of a small kitten.

"What?"

"School is what."

That seemed to work as Blaine lifted his head and tried to move himself into a sitting position. Immediately Kurt saw the change in expression.

"What time is it?" He turned to the clock before Kurt could reply. "Shit." Blaine got up from where he was sitting. "Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

Kurt felt suddenly annoyed. "Well sorry but I only just got up myself."

Clearly Blaine was still only half awake because it took him some time to respond again. "Well it's all good for you, this is your house! If you haven't notice I don't have any of my school stuff here."

_Oh._ That certainly hadn't crossed Kurt's mind. Then again, Blaine staying at his house overnight hadn't really crossed his mind either. Not really.

"How far is your house from here?" Kurt said, beginning to walk to his room. He wasn't about to waste time and have both him and Blaine late to school. That would require explaining and it was too suspicious to say the truth and too early to spin up any convincing lies as to why they were both late.

"We won't make it in time." Blaine followed.

Kurt stretched his neck. He didn't like quick thinking in the morning. "Do you keep most of your books in your locker?"

"Yes."

So that was one problem out of the way. But in terms of uniform... Kurt knew neither of them would be comfortable with where this was going. "You can borrow some of my spare clothes."

Blaine stared. "I – I can't do that."

"Sure you can," Kurt replied in a tone he hoped was casual, praying that it would make things less awkward than they already were. "There's no way we can get to your house and then to school on time, you said it yourself. I don't see any other option."

Kurt opened the door to his room. It hit him that Blaine hadn't seen his room before and made him feel vulnerable. Not that it was a particularly busy room, but he didn't know what he and Blaine were now and he wasn't sure how to deal with someone knowing more about him than he'd ever told anyone already.

He was grateful that Blaine didn't come too far into the room as he went over to the cupboards and threw a blazer, shirt, trousers and tie onto the bed, whilst getting clothes for himself as well. They definitely weren't about to get changed in the same room, weather they were dating or not.

Dating. It seemed like a big word. Were they dating? They didn't exactly act like it at the moment.

Kurt snapped back, deciding to leave those thoughts for later. "You can get changed in here. I'll get changed in the bathroom."

He didn't wait for Blaine to say anything, but just quickly shut the door.

This wasn't going too easy.

Kurt went through a quick moisturising routine, hoping that no one would notice that he missed two steps out of hurrying.

When he returned to his room Blaine was also changed and trying to brush his hair back with his hands to stop the curls from coming lose.

"Come on, your hair is fine. Although some people may notice that it isn't gelled within an inch of its life as usual." It was pretty obvious that Kurt's clothes were too big for him as well, but thought better not to mention it.

However Blaine realised what Kurt was thinking.

"Go on. Say it. Make some height joke and get it over with so we can go."

"You can hardly notice."

"Really?"

"No but that could just be me. Now hurry up."

Luckily Blaine had a bag to keep his other clothes in otherwise Kurt would have had to have kept them and return them later, which he didn't really want to do.

He hurried them back into the living room. Thank god his dad and Carole were out and Finn stayed at Puck's for the night, or things would have been a lot more difficult to explain.

Kurt picked up the house and car keys from the side table.

Blaine was still pulling at his hair.

"Your hair is fine!"

Blaine folded his arms grumpily. Neither of them were morning people.

Eventually the pair got into the car and Kurt started the engine.

The car journey was silent. They really had to stop this constant lack of conversation.

Kurt thought back to the night before. He had completely broken down in front of Blaine. And yet Blaine held him together. He told him he was stronger than he thought. _And he said he liked me back._

Blaine mumbled something.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I guess."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I'm not really good at this feelings thing."

_Oh._ From what Kurt had seen already, Blaine was better than he thought at being compassionate.

"And I know I'm a bit... stubborn, but I was telling the truth last night. I do like you Kurt. I like..." Blaine ducked his head. "...touching you, I like kissing you, I like being _near_ you. So much that my head gets all muddled until things don't make sense anymore."

Kurt felt the heat rising to his cheeks and tried to hide it. "Well, I'm not so good at this feelings thing either. I was pretty sure I hated you. But I'm willing to give it a try if you are."

Blaine smiled. "I'd like that." Kurt felt his eyes still on him and blushed.

"I want to take things slow though. I'm not sure if..." he didn't know how to expand but Blaine understood, even if neither of them really did.

Kurt realised what else was different since last night.

There were no nightmares.

* * *

"Are we going to tell anyone?"

Kurt picked up on the slight worry in Blaine's voice. "Not if you don't want to. Why?"

"It's just, the Warblers can be a bit traditional and although they wound never say anything against us, they might question whether we can still the duet together. And I don't want that."

Kurt knew where Blaine was coming from, but could feel there was more to it.

"I just – can we not tell anyone? It's nothing to do with you it's just... can we not?"

"Hey, it's okay. I don't mind." Kurt knew that even though the students at Dalton were much kinder, it would still bring them attention. Perhaps Blaine didn't like attention as much as he thought. He was slightly surprised to see the other boy's insecurities too. "It'll help us not rush into things."

Blaine was about to object but his eyes met Kurt's for a second. Kurt really was okay with it. And that made him feel all the more guilty.

"Regionals."

"What?"

"We're telling people after regionals."

"I – alright."

Kurt stopped the car. They were still a few miles away from school. "You can leave first."

_So nobody sees us come to school together_. Blaine felt like his insides were being eaten away. He really wanted to explain it further but knew he couldn't. And Kurt saw that too. _I am a horrible person._

"I'm sorry." He leaned forward and kissed Kurt's forehead.

Kurt's blue eyes were focused on him deeply. "You don't have to do that." Blaine was confused. "You can kiss me properly, you know."

"Are you sure?"

"I want you to."

With both of them facing one another, Blaine leaned forward from his seat again, Kurt's lips slotting perfectly with his. There was no fumbling nervousness like their previous kisses. It was too early for worrying more than necessary. Instead they both gave into each other completely, trying to get as close as they could to forgetting about everything else.

Blaine's tongue brushed against Kurt's lips and felt Kurt smile as Kurt cupped his hand round the back of his neck and pulled him closer. When Kurt realised he couldn't lean in any closer he pulled away, Blaine tilting his head forward as he did so.

They smiled shyly at each other, their faces flushed but eyes never parting.

As Blaine eventually left the car he thought to himself with a smile on his face. Things may be strange between them, but they could work.

He was going to try and make it work.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Back! Again I have been lacking sleep so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I'll correct them later.**

**More words in this chapter, which is always good (yay!)**

**The next chapter is very unlikely to be up before next friday. I don't even know if it'll be written by then. Suffice to say school work really sucks.**

* * *

**Chapter**** 8**

When Blaine faced himself with questions on what he and Kurt were, he didn't have an answer.

One thing he knew was that he cared about Kurt in some capacity. It took him a while to come to that but he was pretty sure that was how he felt. And he supposed Kurt was the same.

But otherwise he was unsure of how he felt. And Blaine did not like uncertainty. Uncertainty meant being unprepared, and one thing he did know was that he wanted his relationship with Kurt to be as good as he could make it, confusing though it already was.

_I lied_, Blaine thought. When Kurt had always been nothing but completely honest with him, he lied about why he didn't want an open relationship.

He tried convincing himself he had to, but was unsuccessful. Of course he didn't wasn't to rush into things, but the last thing Blaine wanted was to feel like he was going to get hurt.

Kurt wasn't stupid – he had known Blaine was lying, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt. Because Kurt was a nice person. _And I'm not._

Blaine tried to lighten up at the thought of seeing more of Kurt. The boy was like a drug he didn't want to let go of, and the space of pretending he didn't want him made his want even stronger.

As the doorbell rang he became nervous. This was sort of a date wasn't it? Not a proper one, because they weren't properly dating (at least he didn't think they were). But they were together and alone and they liked each other and this was so a date wasn't it?

Nervousness was not a feeling Blaine liked. So like with any other unwanted feelings, he blocked it out, opened the door, and smiled.

* * *

"Ready to practice?"

"If we get round to any."

Blaine grinned as he let Kurt in.

Kurt felt like a huge weight was lifted off him. No more pretending. It had been a long week without even talking to Blaine. Of course, he didn't know what he'd been expecting. He'd agreed to keep quiet about them, and they couldn't have gone back to snarky arguments and insults. But he longed for some kind of communication, because being that far apart with so many questions to ask himself had left Kurt desperate to just be near Blaine, or at the very least have an exchange of smiles in the choir room. "Are your parents not home?"

"No but they hardly ever are." This sounded odd to Kurt, seeing as Blaine boarded at Dalton on weekdays and was only able to see his family on weekends. But he supposed the Andersons were busy people. And that would make sense, because their house was _huge_. He knew most people who could afford a boarding school were probably pretty well-off, but he honestly thought he had the wrong address when he saw the house he arrived at.

The sheer size of the house made it seem like they were all the more alone, and Kurt was both anxious and excited at the same time.

"Come on lets go upstairs to my room."

Seeing Blaine properly made Kurt forget how much it hurt to ignore him, but he wasn't going to let Blaine know that.

The house's interior wasn't like any other house Kurt had seen. It was thoughtfully styled and everything was very tidy, but it made Kurt think of isolation.

How could this house be lived in? There was no warmth, no colour, just plain walls with fancy lighting and high ceilings.

Blaine's room, however, was much nicer.

The first thing that stood out for him was the book shelf. There were so many books piled neatly beside each other, filling up most of the space, beside the numerous CDs that were situated next to a new looking CD player with iPod speaker.

Blaine's desk was scattered with open school books and folders, as well as a pair of headphones which were probably thrown on top last minute. There was even a pin board of certificates and reminders on the wall next to it.

On the whole, the room looked... lived in.

In fact, the only thing unusual about the room was that it was very dark.

Although the wallpaper was very nice, but Kurt wondered why Blaine would have chosen such dark tones for a room he probably spent a lot of his time in.

Blaine interrupted his thoughts. "As it would happen, I do actually have the music this time. I think I left it downstairs though. You don't mind waiting here?"

Kurt shook his head.

As Blaine left, Kurt inhaled deeply. Finally they were going to have a chance to be somewhat normal with each other.

Kurt walked around the room until he spotted a brown box beside the desk. He kneeled down to look at it. It was labelled photos, and being half open, he lifted the lid to look at them.

Inside was a small photo album, along with a few discarded ones at the bottom. He lifted out the album to pick up the scattered pictures. He was only tidying them up, Kurt thought. There was nothing wrong with that.

The pictures were mostly of individual family members. One of what looked like Blaine's parents on their wedding day.

They looked happy together.

As he went through more recent photos he saw fewer and fewer of them together. And when he did he almost didn't recognise them. They were hardly the happy couple they were at the beginning.

There were only a few of Blaine. Mainly school ones. Kurt went through the album and saw Blaine grow through the years. Gone were the days where his hair was wild and almost covering his face. Now it was all gelled back, without a hair out of place.

Kurt saw one picture that definitely wasn't a school one. It was of Blaine's mother pushing him on the swings at the park. Blaine was laughing with a twinkle in his eyes that Kurt hadn't seen before. He was happy, carefree. Kurt wondered how Blaine lost that, to become someone so serious.

Perhaps that was just life. One day you wake up and the world isn't as brightly coloured as you once thought.

Kurt flattened out the creased edges of the photo and placed it into the album.

As Kurt heard Blaine walking in the corridor he quickly placed the photos and the album back into the box and shut the lid. He didn't want Blaine to think he was going through his things.

"Found the music."

Kurt sat on the bed and watched Blaine's face. It was happy, but completely different to the one of the boy in the picture. There was a big difference between happy and carefree.

"Blaine, can I ask you something?" Kurt planned his words out carefully in his head.

"I guess." Blaine replied whilst setting up the music, not paying too much attention.

"You said your parents are hardly here." Blaine stopped what he was doing, but hummed in acknowledgement. "Do they work a lot?"

"Yeah. My dad is a lawyer so he's always got some place to be. Sometimes he's away for a few days. My mum helps people set up businesses, so it's a kind of on and off job. But she sometimes has pretty big projects that she has to work on all day. So I'm on my own most of the time."

Blaine spoke as if it were normal to not see his parents for a number of days. Kurt wondered how much they knew about their son, considering they were hardly there for him.

"Don't you have any siblings?"

"Yeah. I have an older brother, Cooper. But he doesn't live with us and I only see him a couple of times a year, if that."

Kurt frowned. No wonder the house was so empty. It was because Blaine was alone.

"It doesn't really bother me if that's what you're thinking." Blaine walked over to him. "It's pretty great to have a bit of space. You don't have to worry as much." Kurt wasn't convinced. "What about you? You live with your dad right?"

"Yeah." Kurt smiled. "He's really great."

"What about your mum?"

"She's dead," Kurt said with ease. He'd said it enough times for it to almost have no impact on him, a tactic to avoid sympathy. But he felt guilty when Blaine's eyes widened with sadness.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Kurt shook his head. "It's fine. You didn't know."

"Do you miss her?"

"Like crazy. But I'm happy it's not just me and my dad anymore. Carole isn't my mum, but I guess she's like a really good friend. And Finn isn't the brightest, but he is like a brother to me." He had Blaine's complete attention. "I know we not a proper family, but I couldn't have asked for better."

Blaine smiled a little. The concept of family seemed almost lost to him.

Eventually Blaine broke the silence. "Okay, we should actually practice now."

Kurt pouted. "Do we have to? I kind of like just talking."

"Talking is dull. At least with rehearsing we're actually doing something." Blaine sat next to Kurt, grinning slightly. "Unless you can think of something better to do?"

Blaine shuffled back on the bed, his head resting on the headboard. Kurt smiled and shifted forward so he was practically leaning over him. "A couple of things, actually."

He hung over Blaine, millimetres away from his lips, just to watch his eyes darken through his thick eyelashes. The thought that he could have that effect on someone was exhilarating.

He pressed a few light butterfly kisses to Blaine's lips, and then Blaine tilted his head forward, causing their lips to meet properly.

The kisses made Kurt breathless. He had forgotten how much he had missed this over the past couple of days; nothing but the two of them, not having to worry about anything but each other. There were no obstructions this time, and Kurt realised that he had never been so close to someone like this before.

Blaine murmured his name against his lips, only to cause Kurt to bring himself closer. He felt Blaine's hand rest on his shoulder as he reluctantly pulled away. "Kurt." Kurt opened his eyes to see Blaine's large and concerned eyes. "We said we'd take it slow. Look." Blaine sat up causing Kurt to do the same. He held Kurt's hands. "You're shaking." It was true. Kurt almost hadn't noticed – he had never been so close to someone willingly.

"I'm just not used to it."

Blaine's tone was serious. "Kurt, you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

"I know, I do, but, God Blaine! You can't just sit here in front of me – after a week of suffering without you – and not expect me to kiss you!"

Blaine laughed and gently kissed Kurt again, still holding his hands and steadying him.

"But don't get too used to it. This is still really weird for me and..."

"Shh it's okay. Now come on, we have to practice." Kurt rolled his eyes. "For real this time!"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Hi lovelies!

This chapter has actually been written for a while but between school and my mini writing crisis where I thought that my writing wasn't good enough. I'm pretty sure some of you know how it feels when you feel you will never be as good as you want to be at something you love. But I've realised that is the wrong attitude to have. Writing is a process, and at this point in time it is impossible to be my image of perfect. But it is something I enjoy, and I wouldn't give it up for the world.

So thanks to all of you for sticking with me for this long, or even bothering to read in the first place. It really means a lot to me.

Okay I'm not going to bore you with my babbling so here is the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_**To Kurt (at 9:48):**__ Meet me at the park at 12 o'clock :)_

* * *

Kurt was surprised at the simple message that arrived on Saturday morning. Blaine had told him he was busy that weekend and so Kurt hadn't been expecting to see him until school on Monday, if school even really counted as _seeing_ him. Because technically, they were still supposed to hate each other.

He texted back a number of times for more information, but received no other messages.

Still, Kurt wasn't complaining. Seeing more of Blaine was never something to complain about.

When Kurt arrived at the park he found Blaine sitting in the shade of a large tree on a blanket. A traditional picnic basket sat beside him.

"A picnic?"

Blaine turned to see Kurt standing in the tree's shade grinning. "Well my apologies for trying," Blaine said irritably.

Kurt saw that Blaine had taken his amusement the wrong way as he sat down beside him. "No, no! It's actually very sweet."

Blaine refused to look at him, intent on being grumpy.

"Hey! I didn't come all the way here on this beautiful day for you to stop talking to me. And anyway, the only other I think I'd prefer your lips to be doing is kissing mine, and if you stay like this we'll be doing neither."

Kurt was beginning to learn how Blaine's thoughts worked because Blaine couldn't help the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. Kurt caught a kiss from the corner of his lips.

"There we go." He watched the other boy's facial features relax a little. "You really need to smile more often Blaine."

"Hmm maybe." Kurt tried to shuffle closer to Blaine, but stopped when Blaine seemed to lose himself in thought, counting blades of grass.

"Why a picnic though?" Kurt was curious to know how Blaine had gotten the idea – Blaine hadn't really struck him as the surprise date kind of guy. Then again, the Blaine he first met and the Blaine he was with now were two very different people.

"I don't know... I guess because I like it here? It's not overcrowded and nothing can really bother us here."

"You come to this park often, don't you?"

Blaine fell back onto the blanket and looked up to the tree branches, and Kurt did the same. "Yeah. It's nice here. Sometimes I just come here to think. It's great because it's normally pretty empty, so it's just you and tons of space around you. There are no walls to hide behind either; it's just you and the world." Kurt watched as Blaine looked up to the tree branches where beams of sunlight peaked through the leaves, making patterns on the ground.

"What do you think about?"

Blaine seemed to consider this for a moment. "Anything really. Sometimes dwelling on the real world sucks. But it's hard to put what you're feeling into words for anyone to understand. So by just being here is sort of how I let them out. I suppose this is my escape from reality, or at least until reality comes crashing back."

Kurt nodded, taking in every word he said. He understood the need to be away from reality, that was how glee club had helped when things became too much. He was surprised by the sudden honesty that Blaine so rarely had, and wondered what Blaine tried to hide from here, secretly wishing that Blaine trusted him enough to tell him.

So perhaps Blaine could sometimes be a bit harsh and critical towards others, but Kurt was definitely beginning to see that he was more critical of himself than anyone else. For some reason, and Kurt was still trying to figure out what that reason was, Blaine didn't want other people to see he cared. It was almost as he tried to block out any proper emotions from surfacing, which is likely to be why his face was often a frown.

But then other times, like now, Blaine seemed to forget himself for a while. His harshness lessened – although at times was still there – and spoke with a bit more abandon, speaking more of his mind.

Often they just talked like this. Kurt didn't know if this was a normal thing with dating, as what he saw from most normal couples was large public displays of affection than having actual conversations. But then again, he and Blaine weren't a particularly 'normal' couple.

Of course there was kissing – lots and lots of kissing, actually. It was an added benefit that they were given extra rights to the choir room for rehearsal because it gave them a few precious school hours to be together, and certainly not all of it was used on singing. But it felt nice to communicate by speaking as well.

It showed Kurt that no matter how many people would try to disagree, Blaine Anderson was a person. A person with thoughts and problems and fears.

Whether Blaine cared about him though, he didn't know.

The one thing they never spoke about was them.

They never spoke about feelings, they never spoke about emotions. Maybe it was easier that way – not needing to think too much. Just living for then. It made every second feel golden.

But then Kurt wanted to know about feelings to some extent. Because he really wanted to know where he and Blaine were in terms of a relationship. He knew about unrequited love, and although Blaine was different to those before, he didn't want this to all be out of pity. He just wanted a little reassurance that Blaine was putting some of his heart out there. But for some reason Blaine didn't want that.

Kurt wondered if he could say he knew Blaine. At times he seemed like two people, and Kurt wished he knew who the real Blaine was. Maybe then he would know what page they were on.

Some days it seemed that Blaine was being open and truthful about his thoughts, and other days it was all just words and actions. And Kurt didn't know if they meant anything.

_If only you would just let me in, Blaine. Maybe then I'd know if you spend as much time thinking of me as I do of you._

"I think I could stay like this forever," Kurt finally said.

Blaine rolled over on the blanket to be face to face with Kurt lying next to him. "Sadly, life is too short." Blaine pressed his forehead against Kurt's. "For now we have this."

Kurt allowed Blaine to initiate the kiss, and suddenly Kurt wished he could forget everything else, and just stay there for hours. There was something in Blaine's kiss that told Kurt he was thinking too much. He couldn't bear to think that this didn't mean anything.

This meant something to him, and it had to mean something to Blaine too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter's not so great. At least I think it could have been better. But yay I updated!

Just because it might be necessary, the start of this chapter has a dream flashback which is a little violent but it isn't very long or graphic, and mainly implied. But you can always skip to the next part if you don't want to read it.

Also as a warning: I will not be posting chapters regularly for the next six weeks or so. I will probably be writing in a small portion of that time and I might update at random points during that period if at all possible, but otherwise this is a little break. Hopefully by then I can focus more on my writing and a little less on school stuff. Until later :)

* * *

_His vision was distorted as his body collided with the brick wall. The feeling in his right arm had already gone and was replaced with the sharp pain in his head, which he could hear screaming._

_Kurt felt the sound trying to escape his throat – but nothing came out._

_He felt his last defences slipping away as he was pushed back onto the cold pavement. He lifted his hand to his forehead in attempt to lessen the pain. Head spinning, he sensed something dripping onto his hand._

_Reluctantly, he pulled away, knowing that blurred sight or not – he would find his hand covered in blood._

* * *

"What are you thinking about?"

Blaine slumped next to Kurt in the back seats of the coach. Kurt's eyes were glassed over and not paying attention to Blaine, who eyed him carefully.

"It was the only seat left." Blaine continued. "Plus the guys are mad at me for being ten minutes late. I think I broke Ethan's record." Kurt didn't say anything, but Blaine saw his hands trembling.

It had been a while since his hands had been shaky, gradually becoming less and less and the weeks progressed. Blaine had been hoping that Kurt was getting better, and saw that Kurt was beginning to trust him more. And Blaine was being more honest with Kurt too, even though he wasn't sure he should.

There was such a thing as being too open. And if you let someone in – get too close to someone – then there was no getting rid of them. This was something Blaine had learnt a long time ago, and something Kurt was probably aware of too.

_Never get close to people_, was what he taught himself. _All they do is hurt you._

The coach started to make the journey to Regionals.

Blaine slipped his hand into Kurt's. "We are going to be great at Regionals, trust me." Blaine kissed his hair. He knew that wasn't what Kurt was thinking about, but he couldn't _make_ Kurt tell him anything, just like he couldn't change where they were going.

What he didn't know, however, was that not all eyes on the coach were facing forwards.

* * *

Kurt had been quiet for most of the coach journey and Blaine couldn't help but worry that there was something he had done to upset him. Kurt hadn't been like this for ages. It had taken him a while, but Blaine had been sure Kurt was beginning to be okay around others and at the very least around him.

Was Kurt trying to block him out? Blaine couldn't bear to think about it.

Whatever was worrying Kurt was probably linked to the fact that fifteen minutes before going on stage, he was nowhere to be found.

Now Blaine was slightly panicking. It was unlike Kurt to be like this. The other Warblers appeared worried too, and began whispering to one another about what would happen. All but one, that was.

"What now?" Ethan asked him. Blaine strongly disliked the sophomore and ignored his impatient staring as if it were Blaine's fault.

"I'll go look for him," Wes said.

"No. Its fine, I'll find him. Just tell everyone to get ready and stay here." Ethan gave him a thoughtful look but Blaine didn't have time to be concerned over what was going on in the boy's head.

Wes nodded. "All right, if you're sure."

Blaine began to look for Kurt, hoping he was okay.

Eventually he found him backstage.

"Kurt?"

Kurt had his face hidden in his hands, shaking uncontrollably.

Blaine stepped forward but Kurt backed away. "Kurt, I... has something happened?" Kurt was too busy trying to steady his breathing to reply. "Are... are you trying to block me out?"

Kurt glanced up, still shaking. "No. Not you. I can't." He sighed and buried his face away again. "I just want it all to disappear."

"Want what to disappear?"

He held his forehead, as if thinking about it was painful. "The nightmares. The ones that come almost every night and no matter what I do they keep haunting me because I still don't know! I still don't know what happened!"

Blaine remembered Kurt mentioning nightmares before. The night from three years ago wasn't leaving him.

"Can you not just go on without me?"

"Of course not. Without you we're screwed. We need you, Kurt."

"I just – I can't go on that stage. I am going to make us look stupid and I've never performed in front of such a large audience and I'm going to forget the words and I won't be good enough and-and..."

The last part took Blaine by surprise. "Hey, stop." He held Kurt's hands in his like he so often did. "Where is this all coming from? Since when have you worried about not being good enough?"

"Since always!"

It had never occurred to Blaine before. Kurt always held his head high and ignored anyone who had anything negative to say about him. It was something Blaine loved about him, and wished he could be more the same.

Yet here he was, too scared to go onstage because he didn't feel good enough. And what was worse was that it was partially Blaine's fault.

Blaine cupped Kurt's face in his palms and wiped a stray tear away with his thumb.

"Listen to me. You are amazing, Kurt. And I'm so sorry if I ever tried to make you feel that you were anything less than that."

Kurt shook his head. "You didn't-"

"But I tried to. And I hate myself for it."

Blaine pulled Kurt closer so their noses were almost touching. "We are going to kill this. Trust me." Kurt nodded. "Now come on. Everyone's waiting for us."

Blaine didn't let go of Kurt's hand when they got back. He knew the others must have noticed – he might have caught Wes' small smile and some thoughtful frowns but that wasn't important right now.

Wes came up to them. "Good luck, both of you."

Kurt thanked him but Blaine just nodded. It had been a while since Wes wished him luck in a competition.

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

"_And the winner is... The New Directions!"_


End file.
